rhapsodeez of RAE

Oh Oh Ooh

2006-07-10T19:38:00.000+08:00

Hadn't been updating , reasons are simple and OBVIOUS ; so me .
Hees . Been lazy , busy and bored . Hees :D What to do , tell me what to do . I want more LIFE , hees . I wish for BEST for ALL .

Lalallaa . School's fine , super ordinary , but one comment to make is that , this stupid school is so frozen with STUPID RULES . What's with them being so crazy over OTHER factors and blabla BESIDES STUDY . Listen , school starts with the letter 'S' , so do STUDIES . Gees , why can't they(the stupid ministry and all , especially lys staffs) be more mature and just concentrate on STUDIES . Brrrrr , this school is just getting more and more immature . It's being dumb of them to waste precious time on attire , attitudes , characters , appearances , all the nonsensical stuffs . Yes , i do agree that one's characters and appearances do matters alot but , still , school should be a school . Studies of course must be the priority but this school is simply wasting WAY too much time and efforts on student's attire and all . More and more idiotic lame rules , waste . What's so bad about being late . Why do they even want to CLOSE the school gate sharp at 7.23 and make students suffer for God knows what stupid reasons . School starts at eight anyway . Plus there's this super famous proverb then reads "Better to be late than absent" . I remembered my Primary 3 and 4 teacher , Mr Ruben agrees loads to this proverb . I just can't accept the fact that now , despite being late for the first or thousand times , you would have to serve dumb detentions(detention that make you sit like idiot and do your own stuffs , what's the damn use man) .

The world is just rotating and turning . It's going UPSIDE-DOWN and DOWNSIDE-UP . Brrrrrrr . . .

*bored*

Angel of my heart

2006-07-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

Your love is supernatural ;
Wow i somehow relate this song to Rk . It's nice being nicely communicating , sweetly interacting to him , i feel so loved somehow . Boo , i miss loads of stuffs .

However my life now is going on a smooth note , just letting everything to happen itself and i really just want to maintain my 'Relaxing' mood :D

Loves~*

Sweetly fine

2006-07-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

Boo ! Rachel's back ! :D Things are fine , equally sweet to all , and today , i feel like AN ANGEL ! (; Just so alive with laughters entertained by all monkeys(band and all) . However . There's still one thing , Ariff is being alil' back to himself saying the things i banned and all . Brrrr . But well , nevermind , its pretty fine .

"Look like it all went wrong , what am i to do , what am i to dooo~" , Forever Lost lyrics is floating in my mind ! Suddenly i wish so much for COL to hurry come again . Hees , can't wait to perform . Well , HEY ! I 'cabut-ed' dance , the MTV DANCE CLASS , oh my god , i wanted so much to go last week but when jamming , i just feel neutral and , i'm fine :D Hees .

I'm dreaming to have ALL THE TIME in the world , ALL THE THINGS i long to have :D Shalalalallaa~*

Might have to need to go for photosnaps for portfolio soon , i wish for SO MANY DRESSES , SO MANY MORE CLOTHES to be placed in my wardrobe though it's full , I DON'T MIND(I want more !) Hees . Loves~*

Dumbo

2006-06-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

Feeling like a SUPER DUMBO ! I just don't understand already .

A 'heart-attack'-like feeling

2006-06-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

I seem as if losing some elements . Just felt so weird(the kind of 'heart-attack'-like feeling) suddenly . Anyway , term 3 begins , first day of school , i don't really know how to define stuffs now , but hopefully i'll just be as fine as good .

Note : No matter how mad myself gets , i'm still here for anybody , my lil' angels and all(Nad , these goes to you , remember everything i alway say , POSITIVITY) . I love everybody , anybody . Darlings , that's what y'all are .

(Smile and i'll be fine . Black fonts , dirty ugly mood , get lost quick , PEOPLE ! Pray ! :D )
Loves~*

Doubtful

2006-06-26T00:02:00.000+08:00

Things still ain't working well . It's just so bad , i seriously feel sorry , for everything . I shouldn't have accepted him(cheating myself that i've forgotten about Rk)(Omg ! People just told me feelings for Rk has always been so obvious) . I'm really sorry , really regretted accepting him(though there were really lil' bitts of feelings for him at first , slowly into a lil' more , but , after his camp , the feelings seems to be ALL GONE ; GONEcase) . If only i didn't accept him on 220406 , it will be 10 months plus waiting for Rk to be fine and like what Yuwei said , "You might as well say if only Rk never ended ." Well , these are just , arghs . Too true to be true . But i really wouldn't want to end it because i seems to be hurting one , many and one more again . I hate these . But worst , i REALLY hate people who don't UNDERSTAND(can't blame , because i SERIOUSLY BELIEVES in it) . Frankly , all i wanted him to do when he gets back from Aus was just to be loving and tell me why he didn't reply the PLENTY messages i texted him on Sunday(it was bad confessions that night though) . But he just hecked and ordinarily ONLY messaged after i tired-ly asked if he's back yet(for information , he texted only the next morning)(to think of every late nights , some sobbing for frank unknown reasons) . He was super ordinary in his textes(yes , maybe he's feeling tired too) . But , RACHEL NEEDS PAMPERING what . . . Aside from these , i really don't understand why he became arrogant out of a sudden last night . He kepts saying i wanted to end it and all he told Nad was "i don't know , i don't know " and more don't knows . I really wonder how he feels and what have he thought of when he was in Aus . "Does he thinks of me when he's there ?" I'm just tired of r(a) , because i'm really stupid to set the story . SORRY times infinity to the power of infinity .

WELL , today was absurd , super ordinary . Motivated to do art , did some at home and went to Simei to do more(but sadly , just a lil' bit more) with the one i care alot . I just feel so good when i'm with him , especially when talking to him , i just seems so fine no matter how bad i feel when speaking to him or just plainly looking at him(that shiny pair of eyes) . Just appreciate him super duperdy loads . Hmmm , i think life will just move on naturally for me . I'm just sorry for touching and polluting an innocent soul , a ~~sweet heart~~ .

School tomorrow , hopefully everything will be just perfectly fine . I want to excel .

Undecisive

2006-06-24T23:41:00.000+08:00

Arghs . What the hell , "Then want to emphasize somemore . . Walau . . Basket ! Lol . Hahaha . . So . Whatre you doing now ? Wait ! . . You dont care if i ask you this right . . Fine then . Nothing shall be asked :) Haha :)" Stupid ! What crap , GEES . He doesn't understand a single piece of my mind . That message sounded so arrogant . READ MY MIND !(It's like hell to me for the past few weeks and NOW , this result ?) Boy , you're INSANITY ! :'(

Arghs . Why can't somethings be comprehended ? I'm so tensed now , what's wrong ! The day was like fine , started off with me being for worried for Crystalle about her whereabouts , being late for Dance workshop(was late in the end and waited at the waiting room , watched the dance for outside) , awhile later , boredom killed me and sweet Kenneth willingly came to keep me accompanied(actually just till 6 for the 2nd workshop but , times past , Crystalle couldn't make it so i was lazy and just tagged along with Kenneth to get his dnt stuffs) . The day was so sweetly fine till now , what's the matter with some people . I know i'm bad but not till the point that supposed to be treated ARROGANTLY !

I didn't thought much about the situation of r(a) because i already told myself i don't want to care so much and just allow nature to take its own courses and stuffs but what in the blue world had happened to him . Ain't i supposed to be the one who goes on fire ? Why he ? :(

My goodness , i'm useless .

Let him do whatever he wants , i REALLY appreciate Kenneth .

Lord , bless me~*

-sing to me-

2006-06-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

I'm so so bored , today was like freaking ordinary though with laughters shared with Crystalle . I feel so alone now , so dumbo , so silly , just very down . Seems disturbed out of sudden without knowing why :( Oh man , people tell me what to do . Learn and study my heart(NOT ART !) . Wow , i did art just now but THREW IT ! It was so so horribly done though Crystalle and Kenneth says it's fine . It's disaster :( And now , i'm lazy to re-do . Sighs , gimme the mood , i want LIFE . I feel so lethargic , so drifted away suddenly .

Well , anyway , the day was spent half off with Passport photo-taking(for UAN) . Oh my goodness , i looked so bad in the picture , i wanted a very awesome one but YUCKS , it's so not nice with me looking pretty blur . Shall wait for hours to go by and go for Dance and Pop-singing workshop at the academy .

Guess , he's back already , wonder what he's doing , how he's feeling , hmmm . I want LIFE , i guess i just let it pass naturally , as usual , let nature take its own courses and BOO , will be fine i guess .

Now , art is to be DIE-DIE at least quarter done on Sunday . Bless me~*

2206o6'

2006-06-23T01:19:00.000+08:00

Was a fun day out with pure insanity together with the 3e3 peeps(not all though) . But it's really pretty enjoyable , had sabotages , charcoal paintings , and of course for me , barberqueing (; I prayed to Lord last night to relief my depressions and stuffs today , Thank God , i really relieved a lil' , feeling pretty good compared to previous . Well , i really thought through , just as usual , let nature take its courses and try not to think so much (;

PEOPLE ! HIT ON Lovely TO VIEW THE PIT'S PHOTO ! :D Winks *

The sense of curiosity

2006-06-21T17:41:00.000+08:00

Today made me realize i can be very reasonable (; Hees , anyways , went for the appointment with UAN to register for the course with my dad . Wow ! Guess what , on going there , enjoying the wind on the bike , i observed loads of stuffs and i felt , Wow , i wanna be part of nature rather than a human , but NAH , it's impossible so , i guess , i'll be a NATURE-HUMAN , haha . Kidding , as in , since i can't change the fact that i'm human , i should be outstanding and make HUMAN more BRIGHT and stuffs . Live life to the fullest :D Well , can't deny still about my feelings this period though , but , it's okay , cover-ups naturally comes , i just wish for the best , more strength , more blessings (:

I'm tired , lethargic but PRETTY excited for tomorrow's BBQ . Oh man , and soon , 4 days left before school reopens . HOMEWORK ! Oh my , art is . . (arghs !) gonna be placed aside first due to the workload(wah , workload SEY) , and deal with the summaries FIRST , as soon as possible i should .

Rightys , LOST signing off .

Bewilderment

2006-06-20T19:04:00.000+08:00

All i've been doing's dazing , the feeling's just so unpleasantly indecorous to literally rendered me perplex every now and then . I seriously have no idea what's really wrong , i'm just so troubled , feeling the strong heart discomfort .SCREAMS *

Besides , this holiday seems good for nothing . Ain't holidays supposed to be FREE , free from stress especially ?(guess many of others agree too) Sighs , it's always this mindset "First few weeks , people will be feeling bored and always saying BORING BORING and wished that school would reopen as soon as possible" . However , "Upon reaching the end of the holiday , is where mood changes and everyone's protesting for a holiday extend" . To me , BOO ! I wished school is like the High school's in American(Ha . American princess preaching again) ! Yeah , i love America , Americans . Even one more factor for school , night classes sound so so cool and plus , if its like alternate days for school , won't it be better ? :D (imaginative;CRAPPY)

Alrightys , today's progressing in plans was pretty absurd , made Mister girly Yuwei suffer by(being my part-time boyfriend) helping to tag along with me to hunt for BBQ stuffs and carry it ! Wow , we bought a whole load of stuffs and Gees ! Super duperdy heavy that made poor Yuwei pant and sweat on walking to Mister darling Nad's place to stuff all the goodies there(hopefully , she won't lick on some uh) . Haha ! I can't wait for the BBQ , i wanna sweat it all out and . . . Sighs . But it's supposed to be a class thing and what an idiotic class , they doesn't co-operate and it seems so super dis-organised .They're insensible to be like a baby having the mentality that it's okay to not be there and stuff . They wouldn't understand how others feel(especially the organisers and the lovely teacher who slipped in so much cash) . I just wished many would turn up and at this moment , somehow i missed my previous class the 2e3'o5 , they seemed so much more united .

Well . Shall blog on next , waves *

Heart-rending

2006-06-19T12:41:00.000+08:00

Gees , guess what , i'm useless , it seems to me . . . All the negative stuffs , well . . He left without a 'Goodbye' . It gets more and more poignant as i think of it , the feelings just so bad , it's evoking sadness :( Why . I know i may be sensitive because he might have no choice , no time to talk to me after his . . . (what do should i call that , curiosity) His curiosity for knowing how i feel , what's on my mind and stuffs were so strong , all i felt was overwhelming fear for an end due to(don't say i'm demanding in love because i know , don't say i'm sensitive in love , i know . I needs to be pamper) a lil' feel of insecurity and emptiness because i think i had been waiting so dearly hard the entire last week because of his camp but till Saturday , lil' feeling kinda faded and i'm unsure why . I just didn't miss him as much after Saturday(but does this means he can't do anything ?) , well , i feel i'm overly immature for him(or maybe the other way round) . . . I'm not too sure what's with me . I think i know my greatest weakness in love is the other devils(that's why i didn't wanted to step out anywhere last week when he's in camp). All are so sweet and it's just me to resist and defend(decide) .

I'm sorry.
Anyway , my granny's sick and i'm like Miss Granny-sitter , the feeling's nice to take care of others dearly , i cooked sweet potato porridge(Oh my god , something stupid is that i didn't know half a can of rice is so bloody MUCH !) , yes , i cooked so much and my granny only consume only less than half a bowl . She's really having a tummy upset , vomits every now and then since yesterday , it's like a virus going about in the family , from my brother with diarrhoea and lil' feel of vomit , then to me , now to my granny , the vomits . Tsk . Well my sister helped me in cooking the fried rice(wow , damn loads of ingredients : salted cabbage , tougay , eggs , tomato&chilli tuna and the rice itself) , sounds delicious right , yes it is but the salted cabbage is REALLY salty ! And i was awaken to do these stuffs thanks to daddy who appointed me the Granny-sitter(when i was finally in bed after thinking so much about that and. . ) , i wanna sleep more . Alrightys , i'm getting bored .

Will blog on next , waves *

Hotchpotch

2006-06-18T20:18:00.000+08:00

Today , hotchpotch's the word . It means , a confused mixture . Was so sad to wake up , i wish i could just end my life in bed , love myself dreaming so many amazing stuffs . . . Boredom was what i got after i got up , did nothing but just stick my arse on the computer and of course , walk , laze around . Tried keeping my mom accompanied but i just feel so left out . She's just so engrossed in her work especially the small business on stupid Herbal life , it sounded so stupid of her(Mom , what do you think of FAMILY at all ? I mean , sighs . I dont know .)

When i was young , i thought i'm fortunate , so filled with parents' love and all , but my siblings never think so , now , i somehow feel how they feel , that's why they never really cared about FAMILY . Oh my , i dont know , i'm never gonna ~~rebel~~ but i dont know how to save this . I WANT A BETTER FAMILY RELATION ! I NEED . . .

Anyway , it's Father's day , have you got anything for your lovely daddy ? =x I have not , but i know i love him (although he goes blablabla at times) .

I'm so freaking bored , i failed to meet r(a) today , and he's leaving for Australia tomorrow , i'm evil . . Let's see me suffer the whole next week and wait dearly for the school to reopen and BOO ! I need to complete the assignments ! 8 sets of vocabulary and keypoints of newspaper article's done but summary isn't , book review's done , lastly , ART :(

Bless me~*

Sour legs

2006-06-17T23:53:00.000+08:00

It was a day out ! 'Sour legs' tells how tired i am (; Whee , went to look around and understand more about UAN , the next stage academy . Stufs are so damn cool i can say , i'm just so freaking interested in PERFORMING ARTS(duh , especially dance) . Well , i really really wish i could agree and be part of them , the feeling of realizing a 'DREAM COME TRUE' is just so super duper-dy GREAT , AWESOME , FABULOUS(and all the mighty boombastic words) . . . Can't wait , i just can't wait to upgrade myself in dance , in my vocals , in my dramaticity(wah ! what a word) , yeah , and i can't wait to great confidence in modelling once again , my SILENCE MODELLING(all my lame self photography) can be soon drastically improved gorgeously :D

Sighs , the only problem now , i find people are changing and i seem to realize that actually it's so hard interacting with my parents(i grew) , its like , so hard for me to make them understand , to think of it , everything seems to be so plain and ordinary till now . . . Nothing seems to be done and family relation seems to drift and my point is , DONT THEY KNOW THAT I LOVE PERFORMING ARTS ?(then why still kinda stop me here and there ? Are they like being selfish =x I think they're pretty biased but i love them) I seriously hope they would comprehend and allow me to pursue whatever i want . My mentality is that , i'm so so much different from other people , i think i am special(not joking , sorry) , i have very strong mindset(excluding indecisiveness on daily stuffs) , YA , i mean . . . Gees , all im trying to say is , i know what's best , my keyword's UNDERSTAND and . . so on . . . =x

Rights , moving on , the day was great , pretty nice hanging around with Crystalle , Xiaoyu(she , together with Johnathan and Joseph whom i just met for the first time today) . Yeah , after walking around Orchard(always been feeling lethargic) , finally my saviour , FAIZ ! Who made me stand up and tell the lovelys i need to go , go back , back to my sweet castle , to . . rest . . :D Grins . And so i walked at like a gear fast-forward speed to Summerset train station , and headed to City Hall to hunt for Mister Sweet who waited sweetly pretty long after his work , well . .(Faiz , be honoured , Mr Sweet) Snapped pictures again as usual but sadly , FAIZ ! I missed the chance of taking pictures with him , but like he said , there's always another time .

Here are the pictures of the day :

Our fun time doing lame stuffs

Joseph with the 10 basic signs for photography

Sings . I'm pretty worned out already .
Guess , shall blog on next , loves~*

The return , once more

2006-06-16T20:57:00.000+08:00

Hey ! Love , i'm back once again to blogging , can't deny i love this thing , but i just can't kick away the stupid LAZINESS and annoying SICK-OF-IT attitude (; Hees . Well , hopefully(i've been saying in my past few blogs when they were new too =x) , hopefully this will be just great . I really wish to have a permanent long long long one , ya(rights) ?

Grins . Moving on , i guess , i would like to settle my skins first(speciality aites~) . Haha :D

Alrightys . Blog on later , winks *